Don’t Worry, I’m Alive.

I have clearly taken a break from posting due to the following reasons:

A. Writing elsewhere for money
B. Been too busy via day job
C. Trying to get my life together


Don’t Worry, I’m Alive.

Blue is the Sneakiest Color

Beanie: American Apparel, Jacket: Trafaluc by Zara, Leggings: Nike, Shoes, Vans – Photo by Sharon Marrero

As a major supporter of the “all black everything” rule when it comes to outfits, I’ve noticed a trend in my shopping behavior in the past few months. I keep buying blue things. Not just any blue, no. A bright, royal, cobalt blue that just screams “LOOK AT ME, I’M A COLOR” keeps finding its way into my closet. It’s like Pantone sent out a press release to me only saying “COLOR OF THE YEAR: COBALT. YOU HAVE NO CHOICE.”

I bought a blue beanie to match my blue coat.

Screen Shot 2015-03-09 at 4.49.44 PM

I got running shoes that have blue laces and accents. Here’s a blue sweater I bought 7 months ago.

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How did this BRIGHT ASS COLOR find it’s way into my monochromatic world? It’s too bright to be dark, but is somehow more appealing than its poser cousin navy. There should be a word for the feeling of disappointment and frustration you get when you are looking for something in black and it only comes in stupid navy.

Since this cobalt character keeps taking new forms to appeal to me, I guess it’s here to stay. FOR NOW.

Blue is the Sneakiest Color

Things To Do on Valentine’s Day in NYC For #TEAMHAVINFUN

A couple of years ago, an episode of Wife Swap took the internet by storm with the little superstar, King Curtis. While he was undoubtedly a bratty shithead, he was right about two things:

1. “Bacon is good for me.”
2. “I’m on another team: havin’ fun.”

Three things:


Valentine’s Day creeps up on us all, stressing singles and couples alike. Single people feel like they are supposed to be with someone and will be annoyed by literally everyone in a relationship; couples feel pressure to spend money and create/receive an experience that’s all based on standards set by society, etc. etc. LIKE OKAY I JUST BOUGHT ALL THESE PEOPLE PRESENTS TO SHOW THEM I LOVE THEM AND NOW I HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN, ALTHOUGH I’VE SPENT TOO MUCH MONEY IN THE PAST MONTH BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS THE GOOD SALES HAPPEN IN JANUARY.

Children give each other candy and dope ass cards with Transformers and Spongebob on them, but as adults, the fun kind of goes out the window unless you’re prepared, or unless you truly do not give a shit.

If you give even the littlest semblance of a shit, here’s a couple of ideas that involve having a lot of fun, stress-free, bacon optional.

If You’re Bougie

Romance Under The Stars @ Hayden Planetarium, $125 per Ticket


Congratulations, you have nice taste, and likely, more money than the rest of us. If you fall into this category, you have all the options in the world but also- many of these options are booked, and let’s face it: fancy ass dinner and flowers can happen whenever if you “got it like that.” Impress your date with tickets to the Hayden Planetarium’s “Romance Under The Stars”

Edit: looks like this sold out, guess you’ll have to settle for craning your neck upwards on a rooftop. Or go to the planetarium earlier in the day, before your nice dinner? Better luck next time!

If You’ve Got a Little To Spend And You’re Kind Of Weird

Anthropomorphic Insect Shadowbox Workshop @ Museum of Morbid Anatomy, $75 per Ticket

Screen Shot 2015-02-06 at 3.01.27 PMNothing says “I love you” like “hey, let’s play with Rhinoceros Beetles and make them do funny things.” Seriously, if you can tell a friend or your significant other “I wanna play with beetles, I’ve got great plans for them” and they don’t raise an eyebrow, you’ve got it good. AND, you get a gift to take home with you. Nothing is more timeless than a shadowbox containing a bug you style with props on Valentine’s Day.

If You’re Ballin’ On A Budget and Like Boobs

Champagne & Dinner @ Boobie Trap, $15-40



Bushwick boob-enthusiasts are offering a bottle of champagne for two at $15. Two straws for you and whoever you’d like to share it with. Add dinner to the mix and it’s $40 total. And you thought you couldn’t impress someone for under $50.

Valentine’s Day at The Museum of Sex, $17.50-20 per Ticket


If you haven’t already been to the Museum of Sex, you may not know that it’s not really a tacky tourist trap. If you have been, you know that there’s multiple interesting and informative exhibits running. If you have been recently, you have participated in the Funland exhibit thus you have jumped in the boob bounce castle. BOOB BOUNCE CASTLE. That is all. Treatments aka “aphrodisiac” shots of vodka and other things are available for purchase, as well as spa kits etc. (yeah whatever I’m here for the boob bounce castle.)

If You Couldn’t Make This Year a Getaway

Brooklyn Botanic Gardens, $10 per Ticket


Yes, we all would prefer a round-trip flight to Mexico/Costa Rica/anywhere in the world that isn’t covered in ice but, it just wasn’t in the cards this year. Head to the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens to look at pretty plants that thrive in the warmer regions of the world, and thrive with them. Do it for the Instagrams. Also, there’s a cafe on site, so kill two birds–er, plants–with one stone and snack amongst the scenery.

If You’re a Human

Westminster Agility Championship @ Pier 94, $27 per Ticket


Um, hello: PUPPIES! Puppies RUNNING!

If You’re Really Feelin’ Yourself

Free Pure Barre Classes @ Various Locations in NYC, $1.48

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Pure Barre, a popular workout that normally runs at $33 a pop, is offering FREE classes on Valentine’s Day with the code “LOVEYOURBODY” And you should. Gift bags featuring products from various health-related sponsors will be distributed, but let’s be real: something that costs $33 for $1.48 (the tax of booking it online, but you may be able to book in person free of charge? Call them if $1.48 means that much to you) is the real selling point here. You can feel less guilt about eating all the cheese plates or pints of ice cream within reach if you have time to work out on this day. I’m going in the morning because the greatest gift I can give my boyfriend is not screaming “DOMMMMMM WAKE UPPPPP” on a Saturday morning as I usually am bouncing around at 10am and he likes to sleep til at least 2. Note: you will be sore the next day if you have not done this workout before, so be thankful Sunday is another day you may also sleep til 2.

If You’re Crafty and Seeking Bae

Missed Connections Valentine’s Day Party @ New York Transit Museum, $15 per Ticket

image-1Photo courtesy of Andrew Hineraker, Time Out New York

Attend this event in the hopes that the one you make eyes at on the subway is there, waiting for you to spell out your affection with train letters and numbers. I don’t know, I fucking hate the subway.

NOTE: This event has moved to Thursday, February 12th.

If You Couldn’t Give Less Of A Fuck


Good news: Netflix, Hulu, HBO Go, Grubhub and Seamless will always be there for you. Schedule a date with one or all of them and your couch/bed.

These are all events and activities for fun-lovers, regardless of whether or not you have a fun lover. That was a corny pun, so consider it my loving gift to all of you.


Things To Do on Valentine’s Day in NYC For #TEAMHAVINFUN

The Lazy* Person Who Loves Carbs’ Guide to Juice Cleanses


Let’s get one thing straight: I don’t hate fruits and vegetables, but my favorite foods are the kind that consist of bread and cheese (usually both.) I try and incorporate lots of vegetables into dinner and have been making spinach and fruit smoothies in the morning, but when I decided to join my friend on a weekend getaway to Miami, I decided to give myself a little kick-in-the-butt to feel less shame wearing a bathing suit in January, also the most popular month for everyone ever to work out and eat right because HELLO, RESOLUTIONS.

*I shouldn’t say “lazy” because I went to the gym and occasionally attend fitness classes that can be fun, but in general my preferred winter activities are eating and not moving.

Note: juice cleanses are not cheap. But sites like Gilt City (which I use for EVERYTHING, sign up here) and Groupon usually have offers on these sorts of things, and I found a 3-day option at Liquiteria for $79 that allowed me to still eat dinner during the cleanse called “Juice, Eat, Repeat.” I have tried other cleanses before: Master Cleanse in 2010, made it 4 days before realizing it was stupid and probably not healthy and BluePrint in 2012, where I could not finish all 6 juices for the 3 days that I did it because their green ones are too intense. This one was definitely the best-tasting and went the most smoothly as I didn’t want to barf or collapse.


I pick up the first two days of juice on a Thursday morning at Liquiteria’s Union Square location. They hand me 8 bottles in a cute little blue reusable tote, and I check the order. Of course, the green juice with no fruit in it is the one you must drink first. Aka, the one that normally tastes like garbage water. I break the rules and have a sip of coconut water (4) first, because f authority. IT IS THE BEST COCONUT WATER I HAVE EVER TASTED THAT IS NOT DIRECTLY BEING SIPPED FROM AN ACTUAL COCONUT. Then I suck it up and go for “All Greens” and to my surprise, it’s fine. WAIT- there’s an aftertaste, I’m assuming from the parsley and celery, two things I don’t want in my juice. But it’s manageable, and I finish the rest of the juice and go to work.IMG_1158

I start on the next juice, another All Greens but this time, with apple. The apple eliminates the weird aftertaste and I’m very grateful because it’s the best tasting green juice I have ever had at this point. I’m a little hungry, but I try to ignore it and just drink a lot of water.

To cope with the sadness of not going to lunch with my coworkers, I go to the gym for a little bit on lunch break. I’m not famished or anything, so I do a pretty normal 30-minute workout and then go back to my office.

Back at my desk, I try the “Beets Me” juice, a pretty standard mix of beet, carrot, apple, lemon and ginger. Sweet, spicy, I’m fine with it, but as soon as it’s over I am ELATED to finish that coconut water. Then I get to go home and eat!

It’s recommended that one eats raw and clean when still juicing, but I make little chicken tacos before heading out to DJ at some bar. It’s also recommended you don’t drink alcohol while juicing, but I have a beer and half a whiskey ginger because having to be at a bar for hours sober and play music for drunk people is insufferable when completely sober.

The next morning I can definitely FEEL that I drank, although it was close to NOTHING. So the cleanse is working, but again: you’re not supposed to drink. Don’t drink. I had to. The end. You’re also not supposed to drink coffee, which was hard, but I did it.

The next day flies by, although I want to eat warm food because the heat in my office is broken. The holy coconut water gets me through the struggle.


I take the day off from the gym and make seared scallops with cauliflower puree, roasted bacon and brussels sprouts which again, not raw, but again, I DON’T LIKE RULES. But I drink lots of water instead of beer and lay in bed all night. I start noticing that my nose is running, and no, I cannot go and catch it. Then I start sneezing a lot. Turns out getting cold symptoms while juicing is normal and has to do with your body withdrawing from whatever you put into it (in my case, caffeine) and is affected by the toxins that live inside you getting moved up and out. This is debated between many sources, but for the most part, I can definitely confirm the caffeine withdrawal being real, and get up early the next day to pick up the last juices.


We meet again, friend. I shop around Union Square, then bring my juices home and go to the gym. Nose is still runny. I see a truck with a Carvel Ice Cream Cake on it that I stare at for my entire workout. Again, I have a lot of energy, but we’re in the home stretch and food is so close yet so far. I go home and finish the Beets Me juice before chugging the glorious coconut water and running around my house screaming “I’M DONE I MADE IT!” I consider making steak to celebrate, but then I go out and end up eating piergois. Not raw, not clean, but let a girl eat a boiled potato dumpling, alright?

The next day, my nose isn’t incredibly runny anymore. Science?

Things that suck about juicing:
-the food other people are eating smells better than anything you have ever experienced in your lifetime
-you don’t get to go to lunch with your coworkers, unless you are a masochist
-on the second day, you notice yourself sniffling and sneezing, which is supposed to be a good thing
-sometimes things that shouldn’t be in drinks are in drinks: PARSLEY
-you can’t (shouldn’t) drink
-you can’t eat pizza

Things that are great about juicing:
-you have a lot of energy, surprisingly enough
-you become more aware of what you put in your body and are more inclined to eat healthier and incorporate juices into your diet going forward
-you don’t have to buy/make that much food for however long you’re juicing
-most of the juices taste pretty good and you are getting nutrients from sources you may not normally eat (they’re good for you but who eats beets that often, honestly?)

So, for all the people who have successfully completed cleanses and did everything you were supposed to: great job, it’s not easy. For the rest of us who like to *modify* things to work with our schedules and lifestyles, you can still reap the benefits if you try hard enough. Hard enough means don’t eat a whole pizza to yourself and try to eat more vegetable based meals instead, even if they aren’t raw/vegan because most of us can’t be bothered with that (though it will allegedly make the cleanse more effective. ALLEGEDLY.)

Shouts to Liquiteria for making yummy juices that I hope to consume regularly, cleanse or not ❤

The Lazy* Person Who Loves Carbs’ Guide to Juice Cleanses

DIY Present To Myself: P.S. I Made This x Rebecca Minkoff


Aside from the embarrassing fact that it’s been over a month since I’ve posted (work, moving, travel, sick, general laziness) I’ve still been doing some things that are worth posting about, such as attending the P.S. I Made This… x Rebecca Minkoff “Girls Night Out” Event last Wednesday. I’ve been a fan of P.S. I Made This… since college, and although I general just browse the DIYs rather than doing them, I thought it would be fun to attend and also- cuts the cost of getting your own tools and materials, heh (IT’S NYC, WE ARE ALL BROKE HERE.)


There was an assortment of cute treats (definitely shoved a whole brownie in my mouth because I came alone and I am terrified to eat in front of others) and prosecco (definitely inhaled the whole cup in one sip but that’s more because I didn’t want to hold the cup anymore.) The invite mentioned the DIY would be hats, but I didn’t know what to expect and was afraid of crochet flowers being involved for some reason, so I was glad to see plain ball caps on a table. I beeline for a black one.


The three stations feature feathers, rhinestones and gems, and pom poms. I want to make a hat I will actually wear, so I of course go the black-on-black route.


Step 1: Glue pom pom on hat. Easy enough.

I’m done! Or so I think, until I look around and see other people going in on the decorations and then feel like a huge lame-o. I’m wishing for some sort of leather cord or rope to braid and attach, but all I see are gems and feathers. What does an accessory minimalist do aside from internalize a minor panic attack?



I ask the staff at the rhinestone table if there are black rhinestones. I am in luck. I proceed to use an entire container’s worth of tiny black rhinestones on lining where the bill meets the rest of the cap with this handy little heat set tool. Other attendees are astonished at how patient I am and how detailed my hat is. I was happy to hear this, because I assumed everyone would want to kill me for taking up space/time (again, I am alone, so going in on this line of tiny rhinestones allows me to briefly strike up conversation with people without being super obligated to carry on.) I am no newcomer to rhinestones (peep aka BUY the 8-Ball I made for Trouble & Bass’ Anniversary here!) and they are a HUGE pain in the ass to pick up and place, but somehow also very soothing to just mindlessly attach to things.

RM5So. Many. Tiny. Rhinestones. Here is the final result:



Imagine me doing another pose. No?

The staff also gave me a limited edition Rebecca Minkoff clutch, which was very clutch, but I forgot to take a photo of it. Oops. I want to stay and introduce myself to Erica from P.S. I Made This, but I’m really hungry and feel weird standing around as other people are obviously doing the same and am getting quite a few “why are you taking so long I’m hungry” texts from the bf so, I leave. BUT, according to the RM blog, they intend on doing more events at their flagship store in Soho, and offered discounts in-store, so be on the lookout or just come with me next time!

Also, if you want to buy me this for Christmas, that’d be chill. I didn’t take advantage of said discount because I spent my entire life savings on moving expenses last week, but soon…THIS WILL BE MINE.


DIY Present To Myself: P.S. I Made This x Rebecca Minkoff