What the F*** Is In My Makeup Bag?

This weekend, I was upgraded to “VIB” status at Sephora. Apparently that means “Very Important Beauty Insider” and not “Very Intelligent Bitch” but I’m cool with being referred to as either, really. So what the hell does VIB mean? Do I get to cut the line at Chanel events? Will I be consulted for naming new NARS products? Because honestly, who doesn’t want to be the one who decides what shade of pink defines “Orgasm” or how black “Blackest Black” can really get?

Apparently, this new status does not mean any of those things, but it does mean that because I somehow have spent $350 at Sephora this year, I get a couple of discounts, a shiny metal card, trying new products early, seasonal gifts and….supposedly access to private events. What I really want to know is how did I, someone who can barely be bothered to do anything with her hair other than a messy topknot or match her socks spend THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS ON MAKEUP? WHO THE HELL DO I THINK I AM?

According to Sephora, I am a frickin’ expert with a beauty obsession, so it is my civic duty to share my (apparently extensive) product knowledge with you.

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This is my face, in case you were unfamiliar with the concept of the human that types the words that you are now reading. Today was a rare occasion in which I had more than 15 minutes to haul my ass out of bed and rush to work (not without stopping for iced coffee, because I am not a savage) because I stayed with my best friend Kathy, visiting from London (AGAIN STILL NEED TO GET FILM DEVELOPED, POST ON UK COMING SOON) at the W Union Square last night and had a bathroom all to myself instead of sharing with my 4 roommates, so I had time to make up. Seriously, getting ready for work is like the Hunger Games at my house, so the gift of hotel mirrors and lighting is honestly the best thing that could ever happen to me, or more specifically…my face.

Here’s a roundup of all of the things I smeared/drew/splattered on myself, courtesy of Sephora and my apparent addiction to online shopping or in-store “just browsing, thanks”:

1. Crème de Rose Smoothing Plumping Lip Balm – Christian Dior – $27

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Now, I’ve already got full lips, so this doesn’t matter much but…the plumping factor? Not really a thing. Maybe the balm just makes your lips look super smooth thus appearing at their healthiest and fullest, but it’s not a miracle *poof* of sorts. However, this balm is super hydrating and smells dope. Like the dopest rose you’ve ever sniffed, if it was more common for one to describe the scent of roses as “dope”. Forgive me, I work in streetwear. For $27, it’s a little steep…but if you’re willing to try it, you’ll definitely like the way it smells and feels. If you want your lips to be fuller, go the Kylie Jenner route (which is whatever you want to believe is really the case)

2. The POREfessional – Benefit – $10

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Love a good pun. Good thing the POREfessional works pretty well, or I’d be pissed that such a relevant pun was wasted on a dud product. Basically, I hate wearing skin makeup and can’t be bothered with the whole concealer-foundation-powder and other assorted components of other peoples’ routines. This little tube saves the day if you have pretty decent skin and just want to hide your pores, because unless you have a real-life Photoshop blur tool, YOU GOT VISIBLE PORES TOO. Use in conjunction with Agent Shine Zero for a more matte look; it’s super lightweight and seals the deal on any bit of oil (but it’s freezing here in NYC so I don’t always need it at the moment.)

3. Retractable Brow Pencil (Waterproof) – Sephora Collection – $13

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Y’all thing 2014 was the year of the booty, think again. Another feature is reigning as Queen “B”, and it’s BROWS. Cara D made sure of that. I’m really picky about eyebrows, because personally, I think a more natural and less filled brow looks better than a 3-inch thick drastic arch seen from a mile away (shout out Instagram for the reference material), because no one wants to look like a cartoon that just sat on something sharp. I digress. This pencil is nice because of the little brush on the end, so you can blend your pencil strokes and brush stray brows into place. Waterproof is chill for people who are active and sweat, like on the occasion that I chase after the hat blowing off my head or run down the steps to catch the subway (the extent of my physical activity most days.) I use Soft Charcoal and it comes in several shades for easy matching.

4. Everlasting Liquid Lipstick – Kat Von D – $19

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MIRACLE PRODUCT ALERT! I almost didn’t want to share this, because I wish to have the most fire lips in all the land but…it’s too good not to talk about. Big props to my roommate and fellow thrive-life blogger Lina, who copped a beautiful matte-orange-red color for me for my birthday (after I kept borrowing her MAC one, sorry) in the form of Kat Von D’s Studded Kiss Lipstick in Countess. Just noticed that their version of black lipstick is called SLAYER and I’m actually screaming at my desk right now. ANYWAY, I’ve never bought a Kat Von D product before but I think I can now declare my love for the entire line. This lip color goes on like a gloss and is super smooth, but quickly dries into a deep, brick red that I have been desperately searching for, and I have more red lipsticks than the average 20-something. For all you fellow spastic lip color appliers: it’s easy to color inside the lines with the gloss-style applicator but should you fail to do so, you can easily smudge it off with a tissue/your fingers before it dries. But hurry up and wash your hands, because this pigment STAYS intense. I didn’t notice the darker burgundy “Vampira” at the store, but I might cop that next because apparently I can’t have too many red lipsticks, okay?

5. Highliner Gel Eye Crayon– Marc Jacobs – $25 (Not in photo but typically used)

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I’m a little salty with Marc Jacobs at the moment for a number of different reasons. Fun fact: I was selected in the first few rounds of casting for their spring Marc by Marc Jacobs campaign. Less fun fact: never heard back, so I guess my modeling career will have to remain on my company’s Instagram account. (I’ll live.) More importantly: I used this product as part of my Halloween costume and after a few hours, my eyes were stinging and I wanted to die. Note: this was my face, in which the product was HEAVILY applied in conjunction with a little bit of costume makeup, which I tried to keep away from my eyelids.

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Moving to Scandinavia to join the Black Metal movement because I felt GREAT in this look. Used the pencil on the lips as well and it stayed really well and didn’t feel drying.

BUT NORMALLY, my day-to-day use of this eyeliner is much more minimal than corpse paint, and I’ve never had the burning issue before as I only really apply on the top lid. It tends to smudge a little bit even after a few hours of application, but it goes on smoothly and comes in a lot of nice colors. I like it, but I’m sure there’s a product that suits me better and costs a little less. STILL LOVE YOU, MJ.

I didn’t include my mascara because I didn’t get it at Sephora, but honestly most mascaras of similar price ranges seem to work the same to me. Plus this place always ends up giving you new mascara samples, so sign up for their email list and get a tiny fraction of your income back in the form of nice eyelashes. Unless you don’t like free stuff, which is unamerican, in which case, get the hell off my slice of the internet.

What the F*** Is In My Makeup Bag?


My film from London is still not developed so today I decided to let y’all decide what I will talk about.Picture 6Let’s see what happened.

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Micropenis. I have never encountered one, so I can’t really say much on the topic. The first thing that came to mind was Chyna. Next.

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The Thread is a group of people that are friends with my roommate. Two of them called Al and Dan have really good Twitter accounts.

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This is a submission from my best friend since age 8, Pola. She lives in Australia now, where apparently they don’t fuck with breakfast sandwiches and iced coffee. Pola is used to the NYC-metro-suburban lifestyle of “acquire breakfast sandwich and all is right with the world.” Someone please help her, or return her to me.

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Burritos aren’t really my thing because they get soggy. Sometimes the distribution is not appropriate, so I prefer a taco because I am a control freak. In a taco, you can easily arrange the distribution of ingredients. In a burrito, you can either have a tightly wound cylinder of blended perfection, or a limp dick-esque mess.

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My friend Chippy is a very small person. She raps and sings and dances and we like to make a sound that sounds like “MMMMPPPRHHHRRPPH.” We became friends about 5 years ago because we were both super nerds about underground dance music via a record label’s message board that is no longer really underground dance music at all. We bonded over our love for Four Loko, a drink that no one in their fucking right mind drinks. Chippy is indeed a cute person, not only because she is so small but because of her mannerisms. At one point in time we shared a room and she often looked like a burrito when wrapped in a blanket. I guarantee she would be more of a tightly wound cylinder of blended perfection rather than a limp dick-esque mess.

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Robesman, jumping on the bandwagon.

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Jax is my roommate’s dog. He is a mix of Chihuahua and Jack Russell Terrier. He is confirmed gay and he really loves socks and his Star Wars toys. He is featured in my critically acclaimed multi-platform default photo, seen here, as well as often appearing on my Instagram.

















Until next time, when I will again crowd-source an array of topics.


Due To The Increasing Costs of Real Estate in Brooklyn…


I’m moving into this box. It’s about the same size as my current Bushwick room, and a much more regular shape. It doubles as a desk with the front flap, and via side flaps, I can pretend I’m in an airplane (which has proved to be a toy in demand and a successful business enterprise for this kid so I am DIY, ok?)

Jacket: Buffalo by David Bitton
Shirt: Mishka NYC
Leggings: Adidas Originals
Sneakers: Vans
Necklace: Custom, bitch.

Due To The Increasing Costs of Real Estate in Brooklyn…

On Motivation and/or Apathy:

I’m officially the world’s laziest blogger. There are several drafts on this with hilarious concepts or recaps, waiting for me to return and complete but…it’s just been too long to be even relevant to description at this point.

Now, this begs the question: why do we start things we like to do, and not finish them? Clearly this blog isn’t motivated by money. I have a regular job, and I started this as an outlet to write about things unrelated to that. I’ve read countless articles about what motivates people at their jobs (while at my job, of course) and interest and fun is usually higher up on the list than money. So why the hell have I not written anything in the past few months? Have I been busy? Yes—but not so that an entry every few days would have been impossible. Has work been stressful? Yes—but again, I have plenty of time to come up with non-related ramblings. I’m just gonna go ahead and say I’ve a). forgotten b). been a little lazy and c). yeah. Work kind of took over for a little bit, in the way that it does of being busy and then making you so frustrated you don’t want to do anything else except pass out when you get home and never look at a computer screen again.

Welp, now that I got the whole downer thing out of the way, I’ve got a few exciting things coming up that I will be sharing with y’all. So, sorry about the lack of inspiration and general apathy towards writing things and…talk to you soon?



On Motivation and/or Apathy:

Get To Know the Stylish Maven Behind Mystic Mayhem: Sarah Joy Hood

Imagine a world where Swarovski crystals and cone studs are the only art medium of choice, and everything is adorable but badass at the same time. Welcome to the life of Sarah Joy Hood, the creative mastermind behind all that is glittery and rad at killer kawaii brand Mystic Mayhem. For as long as I’ve known Sarah, she’s always had a smile on her face and an outfit on that makes you want to go home, change, and try harder. Read on to get to know the purple-haired princess behind the DIY-inspired label that will take over the internet, one shiny embellishment at a time.

Tell me a little bit about you!

My name is Sarah Joy Hood, I grew up on the third coast (Screwston, baby) and am a graphic designer. I have an unhealthy addiction to cats and ice cream, and will probably have purple hair for the rest of my life.

How did you end up starting Mystic Mayhem?

I’ve never really fit in with any kind of clique or genre, I have such wide interests in all sorts of styles of music and fashion that ill go one day dressed like Baby Spice and then the next looking all kawaii goth. I’ve always been into hardcore/punk music and the crazy vests are a big part of the culture. I wanted to participate in that but give it my own twist to better match my style, so I started making vests that drew inspiration from all different kinds of music and fashions. I’d get a lot of compliments on them and friends asking me to make them one, so I opened the store.

What inspired the company name?

The name was seriously the hardest part, because the entire concept of the store is mixed styles and flavors, so its hard coming up with a name that embodies a little bit of everything. After coming up with dozens of failed ideas my friend Lorraine Tran came up with Mystic Mayhem on like the second try and I fell in love. I think it’s a perfect amount of spooky but  girly, and ties in the femininity I’m trying to add to a semi masculine style of punk vests.

What inspires the pieces you make?

That’s a hard one because i get inspiration from so many places. Most of the time it’s me liking something but wanting to make it special and adding more detail and color. My favorite ideas come from lines in rap songs, finding a super girly or 90’s patch that matches it and going from there. I love the idea of making a punk vest, thats crazy girly pastel tie dyed, with some hood rap lyric in sequins on the back. A little bit of everything I love in one piece. Recently i’ve been inspired by Lisa Frank, anything aliens, tie dye, and top 40 rap like Drake and 2 Chainz.


A lot of your pieces are custom. How long does it usually take you, start to finish to make one of your amazing vests?

Ooof it takes a hot minute. Even if i was to work on a single vest 40 hours a week full time it would still take weeks to make. Of course it depends on what is on the vest, but bleaching or dyeing it takes a long time to make sure I get it the perfect color, then if they want a lot of spikes or studs that adds weeks to it. For example the hot pink lisa Frank vest i made with the multicolored and sizes neon scone studs took me about 60 hours just for those 3 small panels. Some vests I have that are completely covered in spikes have on average 800-1,500 spikes and I make each hole in the denim by hand with an awl, screw in each spike and go back with a screw driver and tighten each one individually. I end up with some gnarly bruises and cuts in the end but I wouldn’t have it another way.



What kind of music did you listen to as a yung teen etc? Did it influence your style/fashion/life etc?

Good god I went through some weird music and phases. I can safely say I had a lifelong relationship with Blink 182 since I was a youngin. I used to love No Doubt, Cake, Green Day Nirvana, your basic 90’s music for most of junior high. It wasn’t till I was maybe 15 when I started getting into hardcore music like Terror, Earth Crisis, and American Nightmare. Then after that I got super into Electronic music and was obsessed with Adult. and Miss Kitten.

I would say from all the random music I loved Gwen Stefani has absolutely been a lifelong inspiration. When I got braces I made my mom give me bangs because she had braces too and had the hot pink hair with the straight across bangs. I remember thinking “Hey! She has braces and flat boobs and is still awesome, hot, and a badass, so maybe I can be too!” I wore Dickies and white wifebeaters and even stenciled my name in old english on one like one of her music videos. She got me to start making DIY clothes and making boy clothes look girly, and probably the main inspiration behind me dyeing my hair crazy colors. GOD BLESS GWEN!!!

If you could design for any celebrity, alive or dead, who? Why?

Probably Haley Williams from Paramore. I love her style and she has the punk but still cute thing on lock. I think she would look really good in a vest and actually appreciate the wok that went into it, she seems like she gets DIY culture and all the handwork that it takes.

What would you like to start making next and what can we expect from MM in the future?

I’m working on making more smaller items that are more affordable for people like t-shirts and tote bags. I meet a lot of people who really love my stuff but just don’t have the guts to rock a crazy 15lb studded jacket to their 9-5 day job. So I want people to be able to get crazy in their own small way even if its just a small button set on their backpack or a cute tote bag for their laptop.

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To check out Sarah’s designs, visit her site here. Also, Mystic Mayhem is sponsoring the next #TBT party this Thursday, so RSVP here for more info and to enter the giveaway for a Mystic Mayhem prize pack!

I too am the proud owner of a Mystic Mayhem vest, rockin’ this wolf pack on my back with “Twerk” and “Turnt Up” patches in metal-inspired font, because Sarah is my spirit animal and just GETS it. Customize with her today!

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Photo courtesy of Nicky Digital

Get To Know the Stylish Maven Behind Mystic Mayhem: Sarah Joy Hood

Party Time: In Which We Play The HITZ


Tomorrow night, the Baetrix is back (Sam is in California this week but I am here, so I guess the BAE is here and the TRIX is elsewhere up to no good he he love you Sam) with a brand new party at our beloved bar, The Flat. Called #TBT, it’s inspired by how tite pop culture was when we was young and had to walk 15 miles uphill, both ways, to get to a one room schoolhouse. Just fucking kidding but we’ll be playing all the music you got grinded on to as an awkward pre-teen, or annoyed the shit out of your parents by blasting it from your room while playing with Barbies or Hot Wheels or eating Play Doh, or screamed along to as a college student sneaking into bars because it’s YOUR FUCKING SONG, OKAY. The 90’s to the early 00’s were a great time for the charts, so here’s to you and your nostalgia.

If you’ve been to a party I’ve DJd before, or if you’re not a fucking idiot, you already know it’s kind of the worst when you request a song. But the good news is, my good friend Nick Turner and I will be accepting requests of relevant material via Twitter all night long. NOTE: if you’re asking for it and it was popular during the years 1990-2006, it’s prob already on our minds to play, so please be patient and we’ll try to cover it all! Follow us both on Twitter (@ohaileigh & @endlessnick_) to participate.

ALSO, the wonderful ladies of SHOP JEEN have put together a special gift bag for a randomly selected winner including tons of cool shit inspired by the times. To enter the raffle, RSVP here. BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE. I’ve decided to have an additional contest. Watch this video:

You remember. I remember having to hide this CD under my bed because the sexy nurse and Parental Advisory warning were a little too much for an 8 year old, according to my mom about how my dad would feel about me having this. Anyway, recreate one of the classic scenes from this at the party (no, not the streaking one…though if you did it around the block I would totally buy you a beer) by making a sign that mimics the boy-band posterboard exclamations of undying affection, your birthday, or some other ridiculous statement and we’ll choose the funniest one for an additional prize. BONUS POINTS IF IT’S ABOUT ME OR NICK, but all entries will be judged fairly I guess. See y’all tomorrow, take the JMZ to Hewes ❤

Party Time: In Which We Play The HITZ

“The Past Is A Grotesque Animal”: A Story About A Band You Loved But Forgot About For A While


Last night a friend asked if I wanted to accompany her to a movie at Nitehawk that her friend made, and I had no plans and said yes, then asked what it was. She said “a documentary about some band, Of Montreal” and I just opened my mouth. When the fuck was the last time you thought about Of Montreal? My last year of high school through maybe half of my sophomore year of college, I put at least one of their tracks on every mix CD (lol) I made for driving around lower NY in the summertime, but after their foray into folk-y shit I kind of forgot.  The late 00’s were definitely a great time for indie dance, with all the multi-instrument supergroups and performance art-esque shows, and I truly do regret not going to see them live during that time. Fuck college.

Anyway, I missed the first ten minutes of the film, but learned a lot in the next hour.

  • Kevin Barnes, front man and essentially the band itself…isn’t gay?
  • No, really. He’s not gay.
  • I had never thought about this before but he was actually kind of hot at some points, like without the makeup and stuff.
  • The fun and dancey electronic years that I was so into came from a really DARK place…
  • The front man of every indie band you have ever liked in college is probably kind of a dick, but it’s art.
  • You really should have taken the opportunity to see an Of Montreal show live.
  • No one else really cared about the Outback commercial enough to ask, but Kitty and I did. We really did. You know what I’m talking about, THIS ONE!
  • Being in a band looks like a lot of fun but someone will probably ruin a friendship so, good luck with that.

But hey, I don’t want to spoil the whole thing for you. Until I sat down in the theater, I didn’t even know I was curious about the behind-the-scenes story of this band, but I was hooked. Shouts to you, Jason Miller, for making me give a shit. *prayer hands emoji*

Check out the remaining screenings below for a date near you, and the site here. If you’re NYC based, you can see it tonight at the IFC Center, but you suck for missing it at Nitehawk last night because you can get drunk there >:)

Ft. Wayne, IN
Cinema Center
San Francisco, CA
New York, NY
IFC Center
Boulder, CO
Boulder Theater
Boston, MA
The Brattle
Greensboro, NC
New Orleans, LA
Philadelphia, PA
Portland, OR
Hollywood Theatre
Chicago, IL
Music Box
Tucson, AZ
Los Angeles, CA
New Beverly
Athens, GA
Atlanta, GA
The Plaza
Pleasantville, NY
Jacob Burns Film Center
“The Past Is A Grotesque Animal”: A Story About A Band You Loved But Forgot About For A While